STEP #1 – Bringing Awareness to Your Self-Betrayal

crying manThe Solo Travel Solution is a transformative healing process that begins by looking at the ways we relate to others in our life. Every interaction we have is a tissue sample into our inner world. When we take time to notice our patterns of speech and behavior, we can begin to learn a lot about who we really are.

What we will find is that the toughest, most challenging, most frustrating relationships in our personal and professional life trigger negative feelings within, which lead us to react in ways that are not in our self-interest.

In fact, we are betraying ourselves.

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“Betrayal is inevitable. It’s the way we master it that matters. Mastery awakens the spirit within.”

From The Zen of Solo Travel by Michael Jason Sherman

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Step 1 of The Solo Travel Solution is Bringing Awareness to Your Self Betrayal. What we do is help you take a look at the way you relate to the difficult “partners” you have in your life. When we say partners, that can mean parents, spouses, lovers, employers, clients and so on. Someone who is present in your life and challenges you on an emotional level that awakens negative feelings within.

The thing about these partners who trigger negative emotion is that they are here to teach you something about you. It’s not about fixing them or pleasing them or running away from them whenever they approach you. It’s about understanding how you react when you experience negative emotions.

depressed woman on couchDoesn’t matter whether this happens at home or at work. When you are triggered into negative feelings, such as rejection, bitterness, jealousy, despair, shame and so on, more likely than not you have developed patterns of behavior and speech that cause you to react to those negative feelings — react in ways that don’t serve you.

For example, say your boss speaks to you in a way that feels like you are being criticized. She may very well be doing so, but what we want you to consider is this: What feelings are triggered within you when she behaves this way? And how do you react when you feel those feelings?

Do you criticize her back?

Do you withdraw and grow silent?

Do you complain about her to everyone you see?

Do you run distract yourself with obsessive behaviors?

Do you stuff yourself with food or drink or television or the internet?

Do you go shopping for things you can’t afford?

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Self-Betrayal = Reaction to Negative Feelings

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The problem is that even though we may feel abandoned or engulfed by the frustrating partners in our lives at work and at home, it is the way that we react to those negative feelings that becomes our responsibility.

When you develop patterns of reacting to negative emotions in ways that do not represent who you really are, then you wind up creating an ongoing cycle of deeper negativity in your life. You betray your own best interests by generating momentum of more negative emotion through your reactions.

Woman Looking at a Man Sitting Beside HerIf you look at this issue even deeper, you may discover a thread that leads you back to the way your parents or caretakers related to you. It’s as if there is a mental blueprint of self-betraying behavior and speech that you learned whenever you were forced to cope with the ways your parents caused you stress.

This mental blueprint of self-betrayal, which originated in childhood, is now repeating itself in your relationships with the important people in your adult life.

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(This blueprint of self-betrayal that began in childhood is the basis of Imago Relationship Theory, one of the fundamental fields of information behind The Solo Travel Solution.  For more about Imago, check out the About Us section. For those interested in transformative Imago based individual or couples counseling, please click: COUNSELING )

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What we are looking to do is help you to see that it’s the way you react to these frustrating people that is your responsibility. Once you understand your blueprint of self-betraying negative reactivity, you begin to realize that you’ve been the engineer or mental and emotional habits that do not represent you. You get to choose your response.

The good news is that once you begin bringing awareness to this pattern, you will then open the doors to a fascinating process of self-discovery. By simply noticing yourself act in these ways, you begin uncovering the presence of who you really are.

The Solo Travel Solution is a process that will walk you through understanding how you’ve been betraying yourself in these situations. It will also guide you to uncovering the emotional feelings below the surface of this pattern self-betrayal — emotions that tune you in to the real you, your Higher Self.

Our online programs will quickly and almost surgically help you to discover this blueprint of self-betrayal.  You will be amazed by the flood of wisdom and insight that comes through this process, and how it all leads to the creation of a private, transformational experience that will change your mindset forever.

woman looking at rainbowBecoming aware of how you betray yourself in your relationships at home and work will help you discover the truth about yourself. You will discover your authentic voice, your inner power, your real desires, your connection to your spirit.

There is a reservoir of inner peace and profound wisdom that is waiting to be discovered by you. All of this becomes clear when you follow the steps that lead to a Solo Travel Journey. No matter how far you go, no matter how long you travel, you will move through your self-betraying patterns while you are out there on the road, coming home with a feeling of self-awareness, confidence, inner peace and aliveness.

Ironically, it requires you to become aware of the blindspot you’ve had towards your self-betraying patterns, but that just makes you a human being!

Be kind to yourself.  Be compassionate. This is all part of the journey.

Once we’ve got a beat on your blueprint of self-betrayal, then we want to move on to the next step – which is about articulating a Question that invites the emotional energy of your Higher Self.

You are ready for Step #2.

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